lucy is one!

Our sweet, cuddly, spunky baby turned one on Monday! Where did the last year go?? Lucy is doing so many things we're in love with lately. She won't crawl unless she has clothes on; when she's only wearing a diaper, she'll bear-walk across the house on her hands and feet. She adores her brother, and scratches at his closed door if she gets up first in the morning. She snuggles with me in this special way where she nuzzles her head into my neck, straightens her arms and tucks them under her - it's the sweetest.


Her first birthday has me thinking back on my difficult pregnancy and her amazing birth - a beautiful, meaningful experience that gives me strength to think back on. Five days after Lucy was born, I wrote the story of her birth in her baby book. It's an intimate story, but I'm going to share it anyway =) This is what I wrote:

Lucy surprised us by arriving on her own terms at 11:26 PM on Sunday, April 1. At her ultrasound at 36 weeks, the doctors determined that she was growth-restricted, given my placental abnormalities and the chronic abruption I'd been dealing with since the first few weeks of my pregnancy. We were told that she was measuring 4 lbs 12 oz, and that it would be best to schedule an induction and get her out. So the induction was scheduled for 7:30 AM on Monday, April 2, so that we could have a few days to prepare ourselves!

On Saturday, I had a lot of Braxton-Hicks but still without any discomfort. By mid-morning on Sunday, there had started to be cramping associated with the contractions, but it wasn't very notable and they were infrequent and not making any discernible progress. We took Bennett to Willard Beach for bagels and chatted with another couple who had a 3 year old and was due with their second in just two weeks. I remember telling the woman that I was being induced tomorrow but it was ironic that I was having some contractions today! [We've actually run into this family a few times since at the beach... and they named their daughter Lucy too...]

After the beach, we went home and Bennett and I napped for a few hours. When we got up, we took some pictures of my belly - trying to get Bennett in them - since I was feeling like we didn't have many belly shots from the pregnancy. It was probably about 4 PM by now.

At this point, my contractions were starting to seem more frequent, but I was definitely still convinced it was false labor. I did call my midwife and tell her, in case there was some risk associated with my chronic abruption. She agreed that it sounded like false labor, especially since I hadn't passed my mucus plug.

At 5 PM, I passed my mucus plug... I texted Ellen and my mom to tell them that I thought it was a good sign that my induction would be successful the next day! Dan and I ordered Indian takeout, and we sat down for a family dinner. During dinner, I had to pause eating to breathe through a few contractions, since they were starting to get more uncomfortable. I seriously still believed this was false labor.

After dinner, I called my mom and told her my contractions were more frequent and uncomfortable. She seemed convinced I was in labor and told me to time them and call the midwife. This still seemed silly to me, but I lay down on the couch and played with Bennett while Dan manned the stopwatch. I did have to stop and breathe through the contractions, and it soon became clear that my contractions were very regular and only 5 minutes apart. Then we were very excited, since it seemed real. At this point, it was about 7 pm and I called my midwife and she told me to come in immediately. I called Mom and she had already put her bag in the car, anticipating this, and she headed for Portland and the hospital.

Marcy and Bruce arrived to watch Bennett, and I took a quick shower while Dan finished packing our bags. The shower felt so soothing, and I knew I'd want to get in the big Jacuzzi tub at the hospital. I felt very emotional and a little panicky at this point, remembering how intense my labor had been with Bennett and how labor is like a speeding train that you can't get off of...

We got to the hospital around 7:30 or so, and by that point, I had to lean over and really breathe to get through my contractions. We checked into our room and met our fantastic nurse, Ashley, and our midwife Ellie came in to check on me. We were completely shocked to find out that I was 100% effaced, 5 cm dilated, and zero station - basically halfway there! I labored for a while on the bed and on a birthing ball while I answered medical history questions and they attempted to get my IV lock in. Four extremely painful stabs and three nurses later, it was finally in, and Ashley started to fill the tub.

I was still joking and talking with Mom and Dan between contractions at this point, but felt very focused during them - I breathed deeply and moaned and that really helped.

The tub felt awesome - it slowed my contractions at first but they picked back up quickly enough. I knelt at the edge of the tub, leaning over a pillow on the edge. I felt really warm and relaxed (between contractions) and when one hit, the nurse showed Dan to drag a washcloth filled with ice along my neck and arms and that was my saving grace - it helped me focus to quell the panic that starts to arise during a really intense contraction.

I remember that the nurse would murmur that I was doing good work and when I told everyone the contractions were getting really intense, she said that I could have fooled her, and the positive feedback honestly felt really good and helped me keep going. I focused on breathing and moaning and keeping my jaw loose, since I had read in Ina May that keeping loose above means relaxed below, and more comfort and progress.

At one point, I had an intense contraction and afterward, I involuntarily cried for a minute. I was very serious from there on out, and I think that was the moment my transition started.

The nurse kept asking if I felt pressure, which I didn't at first, but then thought I might. I told everyone I wanted to get out of the tub after the next contraction but I didn't know what to do next. Ashley suggested I get in bed to rest as much as I could, since I'd been kneeling for a couple hours, so that's what I did.

Very soon after that, my midwife Ellie came in and checked me - I was 9 cm, almost 10! I had a brief respite from contractions and talked a little with Ellie. Then all of a sudden I felt intense pressure, and my water broke. The sensation to push felt a little wild, and I was definitely screaming but I remember Dan saying encouraging things by my ear, and Ellie and Mom rubbing my legs, and Ellie encouraging me to give my baby a gentle welcome... while I screamed.

Four pushes later, Lucy was born, coming out head-to-toe in one push, and Ellie told me to reach down and help bring her up, which was really special and very memorable. She was so tiny and she cried and seemed healthy and perfect and it was such a relief. She cuddled on my chest for the next hour or so. [I'm excising the next parts, and leaving it with sweet cuddles.]

Lucy, we love you!